Its hard to believe that its been 16 weeks since we got the diagnosis. I'm happy to report that I'm in a much better place now than I was four months ago. I don't need to keep telling myself that things will be ok ....I'm so over that. I know that Austin is going to be ok and I know that we are so blessed already to have Austin, as he has already taught us so much!
So for now, my anxiety revolves around this whole "c-section" thing. I know its so common now and women have c-sections all the time, but just the thought of having my stomach cut open while I'm lying there helpless on the table just scares me. Gosh, I didn't even have an epidural with Jake so I don't even know what that feels like! I can't seem to get what is going to happen wrapped around my head. But nonetheless, it has to be done and its whats best for Austin, so I'll get over it.
I got a call a few days ago from a parent who got my information from the neurosurgeon. She relayed that her son was just born with hydrocephalus in December and is doing very well. Her story was not exactly the same as mine (her son wasn't diagnosed until 36 weeks along), but his ventricles were measuring slightly larger than Austin's are now. It was nice to talk to her. She was very positive and offered some good advice to me. It has been so important to me to talk with other parents who have been through or are going through the same situation. There is only so much everyone else can say to me who have not walked in my shoes.
Yesterday I had an OB appointment. Pretty uneventful other than the fact that I found out which doctor is going to be doing my surgery...of course its someone I had never met. And they couldn't get me an appointment next week with that doctor, so now I won't even get to meet her until we are in the hospital. Ridiculous. In the afternoon, I had another ultrasound. Also pretty uneventful. As anticipated, the ventricles had grown and his head circumference got bigger...no surprise there. His abdomen was also measuring bigger and the tech made a comment that Austin was going to be a big baby...again, no surprise there. Perinatologist came in after the scan and told us that he didn't see any reason to move the surgery up at this point, but that he did want to see me one last time next week to see how much the fluid had increased in a shorter amount of time. He said that if next week's ultrasound showed something drastic, then he would look to move up the c-section to that day or the day after. Kevin and I thought we were done with ultrasounds, but agreed to come in one last time. So, we are set for next wednesday, April 6th.
Jake and I made a "Countdown to Austin's Arrival" sign tonight. He got to pick where he wanted to hang it and then proudly stood next to it for a picture.